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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
opulent-wolf
whiny-sugar-glider

BBC - Frozen Planet

Source: whiny-sugar-glider snowflake nature science reality is weird pretty

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hamelin-born
bluefire-castiel

So apparently Alchemy is a subject taught at Hogwarts and I bet all the muggleborn students have a fuckin field day with that one like can you imagine

Some poor, unsuspecting Hogwarts professor: Alright class, welcome to your first Alchemy lesson. Now, can anyone tell me what alchemy is?

Every muggleborn student in haunting unison: Alchemy is the science of understanding, deconstructing, and reconstructing matter. However, it is not an all powerful art. If one wishes to obtain something, something of equal value must be lost. This “equivalent exchange” is alchemys first law…

Source: bluefire-castiel
systlin
systlin

Rome, 71 AD, “Well we’ve conquered the rest of this island, as well as basically the entire known world, we should be able to steamroll over Caldonia pretty easily.” 

The Caldonians, AKA the Scottish People; “If you don’t get tae fuck…. “

(Cue several decades of misery on the part of the Romans)

Rome, 122 AD, after much suffering; “YOU KNOW WHAT NEVER MIND JUST WALL THE MAD BASTARD COUNTRY OFF AND NEVER GO THERE AGAIN.” 

The Caldonians, AKA the Scottish People; “AN’ DON’T COME BACK YA BAWBAGS.” 

Rome; “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU.”

scotland lol
tanoraqui
teamalphonse

I bet while Al’s in the hospital post promised day there’s a pretty strict limit on how many people can visit him and there’s a fight about who gets to go in the first group because everyone’s dying to see him

Team Mustang gets in an argument amongst themselves about it

Havoc: I should go first. I wasn’t even at the battle when he came back.

Falman & Fuery: Neither were we!

Breda: None of us were except the Lieutenant and the Colonel.

Roy: Well I was blind! And I outrank you! I’m going in the first group.

Riza: We’re drawing straws.

Ed: omg literally none of you are going in the first group, Teacher and Sig are.

Which starts the new argument of who’s going in the second group. And it’s not just Team Mustang - it’s also Major Armstrong, Dr. Marcoh, Maria Ross, Denny Brosh, Zampano, Jerso, Heinkel, Darius - literally everyone wants to go see Al. The doctors are losing it because half those people are also injured and should be laying down and resting still, dammit - the boy’s brother was bad enough and now they have to deal with an entire room full of people ignoring doctors orders to go see the Elric boy

Ed complains to Al about everyone being idiots about it (even tho he’s thrilled - of course everyone loves Al, his brother is the Best) and Al’s so touched he starts crying

Source: teamalphonse fma this is canon cute
tanoraqui

Space Australian Medicine

mx-delta-juliette

Despite the best efforts of everyone involved, something truly nasty escaped Earth. They call it giardia, a microscopic organism that their Planetary Protection Officer called “pretty dumb” and “not too bad, really, a week of digestive upset and then it’s over.”

Yes, Earth has a Planetary Protection Officer. They have a Planetary Protection Office, and have had one since they were sending probes around their own solar system. Doctor Ma-et had found it a bit silly, like a child concerned about the cleanliness of their toys, until she learned that the job of the Planetary Protection Office had always been protecting other worlds from Earth.

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jumpingjacktrash

i love this so much.

i love this individual piece of writing, and i also love the narrative tumblr has been developing around Crazy Primates From The Death Planet Just Want To Love You. it feels so real and so US. it feels like maybe if genuine contact happens, this is how it’ll go down.

we’re too young, as a species, to do any galactic business of our own. we’re barbaric and awkward, still fighting amongst ourselves for resources. we’d probably make the galactic powers very nervous. but the thing is, there is nothing more dangerous to a human than another human, and hasn’t been for centuries, and this is on a world where half the ‘habitable’ environments regularly kill people and the rest only kill people on occasion with floods and stuff. we make buddies with our predators, we make our diseases brew us chemicals and fuel. we turn everything to our own use, and would bloom through the universe like a horrible all-consuming plague – except that we already sorta did that a little bit on our own planet, we were THAT powerful, and we learned not to.

we are the infant titans who, having seen our siblings eaten, swore to protect instead of consume. we police each other – and ourselves – at the deepest levels, down to the bones of our spirituality. even the most vicious warmonger knows, KNOWS, in their heart of hearts, that what they do is not right, and will not be allowed to go on.

more advanced species didn’t have to learn this lesson, because they weren’t violent to begin with, or learned it a long slow way under the tutelage of older powers. and here we are already, these holy fools, who hold death itself in our hands, and have the hunger for infinity in our eyes, and they ask us what we plan to do with this power, and we say: “where can we help?”

“and also, can we pet your dog?”

saffronheliotrope

I love this so very much, both the fic and the commentary. As much as I love Star Trek and always will, its utopian vision of humanity as a distinguished part of the galactic UN, everybody-just-learning-to-get-along seems a little impossible at times like these. This picture of reckless, a little bumbling, ultimately good-hearted and good-doing humanity seems somehow more plausible, and gives me some real flickers of long-term hope.

Source: mx-delta-juliette earth is a death world fiction
blackkatmagic
rayshippouuchiha

you know what I want?

I want MCU WinterIron identity-porn but it’s like, done badly?

Like no one knows Tony’s Iron Man even as the Avengers come together.  He’s managed to hide it from pretty much everybody.

Only he’s really bad at it?  Like he never set out to try and hide it from anyone much less the entire world.

It just kind of happened that way.

It’s all some great comedy of errors and almost willful misunderstanding where no one even considers seriously that he’s Iron Man.

And at first Tony’s kind of pissed/hurt right? But then he’s exasperated cause how could they not know????

And Tony eventually just hits this point of “fuck it i’m gonna see how long I can ride this out” and then precedes to do the most piss poor job of “hiding” his identity ever.

~~~

“Obviously I’m not Iron Man,” Tony drawls as he stares Steve down from where he’s seated in the workshop, fully armored except for the helmet.  There’s a projection of the armor floating in front of him and the body model in the hologram even has a little goatee and everything.  “Just doing a fitting to make sure everything’s working right.”

“Of course Tony,” Steve beams at him before he leaves the workshop.  “Don’t work too hard.”

~~~

But, to his horror, no one figures it out because they all take him seriously.

Cue Bucky coming back to the Tower and immediately clocking onto the fact that Tony’s Iron Man and being fucking driven crazy by the fact that no one else seems to realize it and it’s so fucking obvious.

~~~

“He literally said the words “I should probably armor up for this” not three minutes ago to your face Steve.” Bucky half screams as he ducks behind a burnt out car to avoid another explosion.

“He was obviously calling for Iron Man to come help.”  Steve tells him all sunny like.

Bucky stares at him so hard and for so long he almost gets clipped by flying debris.

“Soldier watch your six,” a voice that is obviously Tony’s chimes in as Iron Man swoops down and covers both of them.

Bucky’s pretty sure he’s had a stroke or something.

~~~

Tony swans around the Tower in a shirt DUM-E made for him that says “I am Iron Man”.  Most of his clothes are armor/Iron Man related.

His coffee cup says “Designed it. Built it. Fly it.” With a little picture of the armor to the side.

JARVIS is very proud of that one.

No one blinks twice.

Bucky’s developed an eye twitch.

~~~

“Obviously I’m not Iron Man,” Tony tells Bucky as they make intense eye contact.

Tony is fully armored, helmet in hand, and standing on the battle field beside Bucky.

“Just holding the armor until he can get here.” Tony tells him as he slowly puts the helmet back on, holding eye contact with Bucky the entire time.

“That’s real nice of you Tony.” Steve tells him happily.  “Make sure you get out of here safely when he shows up.”

Bucky screams in rage.

~~~

“How could they not know?”  Bucky’s hands are clenched in the front of Tony’s suit jacket.  There’s something like desperation in his face/voice/eyes.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about Klondike.” Tony tells him with a ragged sort of determination cause by this point he’s in too deep.

“I literally just watched you step out of the armor.” Bucky shakes him a bit.  “It’s custom built to your size.  THERE’S A DECAL ACROSS THE BACK THAT SAYS ‘TONY STARK IS DRIVING’!!!?!!!”

“There there,” Tony reaches up and pats him lightly on the shoulder.  “Obviously it’s all a coincidence.”

“They’re so stupid.”  Bucky starts to cry.

~~~

And, of course, somewhere along the way Bucky and Tony fall in love.

Idk man.

Source: rayshippouuchiha
blackkatmagic
systlin

Rome, 71 AD, “Well we’ve conquered the rest of this island, as well as basically the entire known world, we should be able to steamroll over Caldonia pretty easily.” 

The Caldonians, AKA the Scottish People; “If you don’t get tae fuck…. “

(Cue several decades of misery on the part of the Romans)

Rome, 122 AD, after much suffering; “YOU KNOW WHAT NEVER MIND JUST WALL THE MAD BASTARD COUNTRY OFF AND NEVER GO THERE AGAIN.” 

The Caldonians, AKA the Scottish People; “AN’ DON’T COME BACK YA BAWBAGS.” 

Rome; “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU.”

charlottedabookworm

@deadcatwithaflamethrower

deadcatwithaflamethrower

*happy nerd noises*

Tho to be more accurate, the Caledonians ( Caledonii or Caledones)  were only one tribe of the Picts. It was the Picts as a whole who told the Romans to GTFO and when they didn’t, MADE THEM LEAVE in such a manner that the Romans built a giant-ass wall, a massive expense at the time, just to keep the scary bastards away from them.

beatrice-otter

It really did help that a) they were REALLY FAR AWAY from the core Roman territories, b) didn’t have many resources or riches to plunder, c) they had lots of geographical help (mountains and the like) to prevent the Romans from just rolling over them and c) the Roman Empire had much bigger and more serious threats on other frontiers that they had to defend against so they never turned anything like their full attention on the Picts.

But none of that would have mattered if the Picts weren’t also just REALLY REALLY REALLY SCARY AND BUGFUCK NUTS FIGHTERS WHO WOULD NOT GIVE UP EVER.

quinfirefrorefiddle quinfirefrorefiddle

@thebibliosphere this explains a lot about why you’re still alive

thebibliosphere

You are not the first person to make this observation.

Source: systlin
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